A Woman's Ode to Survivalism

A Woman’s Ode to Survivalism
by Deborah in the UP

I’m not into fashion
I like camouflage
I got surveillance equipment
Stashed out in my garage
I don’t wear many skirts
I kinda like my jeans
And they go so much better with
My bullets and my beans.

Now don’t be thinking that I’m crazy,
Not a sociopath, not even mean,
But if you come a knockin’
Keep your hands where they are seen…..

I got a Smith & Wesson,
AK and Mossberg too,
One Colt, two Beretta’s,
A Kel Tech.. Hmm that one’s new

I don’t know when the SWHTF
But I’ll let you in on a secret,
Let you in on my plan ….
I’ve got water, and I’ve got fish
I’ve got ammo in my pockets
And a camera in my Dish.

I got flour, sugar and my salt,
And if you don’t, that’s not my fault

I’m replanting my lawn with berries and their thorns
All just to protect, all just to warn.
Maybe a few bushes, maybe a few vines,
And as far as you know, maybe a few mines…

The pantry is full of canned goods
Closets are filled up too
Everything’s been inventoried
Even all my shoes.

Kerosene is for the lamp light
And matches are a must.
No one knows what I have
For there’s no one that I trust.

Chickens I will raise, maybe some rabbits on my land,
And a nice big garden, to help me feed the clan .
Seeds I’ve got, oh, ain’t it nice,
I got all that and three kinds of rice.

I got flour, sugar and my salt,
And if you don’t, that’s not my fault

I don’t get the hurricanes
No floods or earthquakes here,
Just lots of icy blizzard snow
And Mutant Zombie Deer.

I’m ready for a nuke blast
Solar flares or acid rain
I’m ready for the Bird Flu
When the world gets quite insane.

I’ve done my preps,
Checked them double twice,
Not like in Jericho
Cause folks won’t be that nice.

My BOB is packed ..
Now what did I forget?
Oh yeah, the gennie’s full
And sitting on the deck.

When TEOTWAWKI is finally here,
I’ll be hunkered in my retreat,
family will be near,

And I got flour, sugar and my salt,
And if you don’t, that’s your own damn fault